No Names - No Attachment

I have wanted to be a foster for a long time, but we had an elderly dog that we didn't want to upset by bringing home dogs unfamiliar to him.  Toby had been with us for over 17 years and was our main concern.  Last September, as I lay beside one of the best friends I ever had in my life, his shallow breathing and lifeless body left me numb, it was time to let go and we said "Good Bye" to our beloved family member.  The next couple months we missed him terribly and had no desire to open up our hearts or home to another pet.  My mother, who lives with my husband and I, repeatedly commented "It's just not right without a dog in this house."  So we made the decision to get another dog, a Pomeranian, but for my mom, not us.  I started searching shelters and rescues for a Pom, which brought me to the Cuyahoga Animal Shelter where we found the perfect companion for my mom.  It didn't take long for her to melt our hearts too, and before I knew it, I was searching for a companion for our new family member.  I found a Pom listed on Paws & Prayers site and I filled out an adoption application.  We went to visit the Pomeranian listed and brought along Pepper to meet her.  It took no time at all to see it wasn't a match made in heaven and we wouldn't be adopting this one.

On the way home, I told my husband I really wanted to start fostering.  His only concern was my physical ability to handle it having Fibromyalgia.  I take care of my 87-year-old mother full-time, and with my illness, he wasn't totally convinced that this would be the best idea but with reservations he agreed - which he usually does.  I promised, if it was too much for me to foster, I would only do it once.  My next bombshell was that I wanted to foster puppies, though he thought I was insane, again he reluctantly agreed.  I filled out my application, and before I knew it, I was on my way to pick up three 11-day-old American Bulldog puppies that only had a 40% chance of survival.

3-week-old Male
3-week-old Female
From the day I brought them home, everyone wanted to know what are we going to call them.  Being the rational level headed person I am, I said, "no names" because once you name them then you begin to become attached.  Yeah right, I was going to have these pups for about 8 weeks, with no names and no attachment. Within the first 24 hours, one of the puppies became very sick and passed away.  That's when I knew it wouldn't matter whether these puppies had a name or not, it still breaks your heart!  I had lost "the little black puppy with no name" and I didn't know what I had done wrong.  Maybe my husband was right, maybe this not something I should be doing.  Soon I found out the whole story behind these pups and their mother, Malina.  She was found abandoned, emaciated, and dehydrated, so much so that no one realized she was carrying puppies.  She was then vaccinated, something that should never be done with an expectant mother, it can be deadly to her unborn pups.  Soon her 14 puppies were born, 10 days later after giving all she had to give, she sadly passed away.  Six puppies had already succumbed to the horrible situation some cruel and heartless human had placed upon their mother. There were nine pups left, to be divided between three fosters. After my first day of fostering, I sadly only had two left.

3am Bottle Feeding
Now knowing it wasn't my fault, I was determined my two unnamed puppies were going to make it.  But there was a problem, I was having trouble getting them to eat.  They had both lost weight within the first 24 hours, I tried everything possible.  When I wasn't feeding (or trying to) I was on the Internet searching to find out everything I could about feeding newborn puppies.  After trying different bottles, nipples, barrel syringes, I finally went to the store and bought regular baby bottles.  Much to my surprise IT WORKED!  Now all we had to do was be careful not to let the bottles flow too much so they wouldn't aspirate, make sure they were manipulated properly so they would relieve themselves, feed every few hours, burping regularly and we were on our way. These two pups, which remained nameless (despite many suggestions), immediately started to gain weight.  With a sigh of relief I, for the first time, truly believed "I can do this".

After making it through the first week, the pups were now being referred to as the "white one" and the "brown one."  Both were continuing to tip the scales in an upward direction every day. Late one night, or maybe it would be more accurately described as very early one morning, while feeding, I chuckled to myself as I noticed the "white one" had a very large spot on her back with an amazing resemblance to a rubber duck.  I thought we should call her "Ducky." Oh no, what had I done, I had named one of the puppies!  Well not the be outdone as I picked up the "brown one" I noticed he had a white mark on his chest, well I'll be, he has a lightning bolt on his chest and, from this moment on, shall be called "Bolt!"

The 'duck' spot!
Week two went by without any problems and we forged on into week three.  They were downing their bottles in record time and eliminating on their own with the knowledge that every day that went by these babies' chance of survival increased.  By this time I had settled into a routine, both the puppies and I seemed to be surviving.  Then it happened, the dreaded runs - with a drop, drop, here and a drip, drip there, and messes, messes everywhere!  I ran, not walked to my computer.  Was this serious?  Should I contact medical?  What can I do???  The common solution on most sights was pure canned pumpkin, so I gave it a try and by the next day they were having regular stools, and I am so thankful we live in an age of high speed Internet.

5-week-old Bolt/Jack Daniels
On Monday, the first day of the fourth week, I received quite a surprise.  One that would turnout quite painful. Ducky had a habit of gnawing on my hand while I was feeding Bolt, letting me know she wanted her turn.  Today was no different, except for the sharp piercing pain she was inflicting.  What the heck, she had teeth!  Where did they come from?  She didn't have them yesterday. What did she do, get doggy dentures just so I would feed her first?  Lo and behold, the following day Bolt had been blessed with a mouthful of finger piercers, too.  It was also this week I started noticing something else that was definitely a pleasant surprise, I was getting up at 6 a.m. to feed, feeling better than I had in the past couple of years.  Before the pups, I was lucky to be able to painfully pull myself out of bed by 10 or 11.  My days used to consist of me pushing myself to complete anything, pain pills every four hours and antidepressants.  Depression goes hand in hand with Fibromyalgia, with most of the time feeling useless and helpless.  I realized I had these pups depending on me, they didn't care if I was tired or in pain.  So I had to push through, I suddenly found myself with a purpose and a passion, I was loving what I was doing.  I wanted to keep doing it, for the first time in a very long time, feeling like I was making a difference.  The pain was still there but it was manageable because I had to take care of Ducky and Bolt.

5-week-old Ducky/Margarita
Now by this time of course I was getting very attached to my little furry buddies (because they had names now, ya know) how am I going to let them go?  Were my first fosters going to be a failure?  Funny though how things work out, I had to go to PetsMart to pick up more formula and there happened to be a Paws & Prayers adoption event going on.  I thought I would stop by and say hello, everyone was busy but I overheard one of our fosters talking to someone about possibly becoming a foster, when the person she was talking to said, "But how do you give them up?"  The answer our foster gave is one I will never forget.  She replied, "You grow to love each and every one of your foster dogs (ok, so I'm normal) but you love them enough to take great care to find them a wonderful home where they will be loved forever. When you have done that, you have room to save another dog in need, another dog you will fall in love with."  I left actually never speaking to anyone that day, but knowing, even though I had named them, I could let them go because I had the power of selecting what loving home they were going to, and because I loved them so much, it has to be a very special home.

Nap time!
The rest of the days just flew by.  I found out the rest of the pups in the litter had been named after Wine and Spirits.  So Ducky became Margarita and Bolt was now Jack Daniels.  And just a side note, which I will always take into consideration in the future when naming puppies, since changing their names to Margarita and J.D. they have been sleeping all day and partying all night!!  We have now been through gruel, worming, enemas, and high pitch wining at 3:00 a.m. and they completely have my heart. I take as many pictures of these guys as I do my grandchildren, they were always doing something cute and adorable. Now we have reached week six, these puppies which had a 60% chance of not surviving, had made it!!  I took them in for their first shots and I was just like a proud momma when everyone thought they were so adorable. I completely agree!

Margarita's valentine to her furever family
Now comes the hard part, I had to post them for adoption online.  What happened next I never expected, within 20 minutes of posting them I had an application, and then another, and then another and they just kept coming.  The third application just jumped out as one I needed to take a closer look at.  My mentor, Dori, which by the way has been my rock, told me right from the beginning "Listen to your gut."  Well my gut told me I wanted to follow through with this couple.  I did the vet check and their vet absolutely raved about them and the care they took of their recently deceased 17-year-old cat, especially in her later years when most people would have given up, they did what ever they could for her.  I then spoke to the couple on the phone, is it possible I could have found the perfect couple that quickly?  Dori and I met them with Margarita and Jack, they were so great I wanted them to adopt me!  We left that evening knowing they were going to adopt one, but just not sure which one.  I had a strong feeling they had quite a connection with Jack.  I got a phone call early the next morning and Jack was going to be one lucky dog, he hit the JACKPOT!!  I am so incredibly happy for him!  They have no children, no other pets, and a fenced in back yard, he is going to be so spoiled.  I'll tell you more about them later, I need to tell you about Margarita's adoption.  My next choice was a couple that had adopted from Paws & Prayers a year ago from the Muppet litter.  We met, and though I think they are a wonderful couple, I just didn't feel there was a connection between them and "Rita."  Sure enough they called me the next morning and said the same thing, they just didn't feel the connection. Our next appointment was a single woman that had filled out an application for another dog which was already adopted, when she picked up "Rita" it was love at first sight, it was a done deal.  I was really happy for her, but now realization set in, in two weeks my commitment to these once tiny helpless puppies was about to be over.  I have found them both very special and loving homes.

Jack Daniels's valentine to his
awaiting furever family
Now I promised to keep in touch with both of them, I told them I would send pictures to try to make the next two weeks go by a little faster.  I hear from Margarita's mom every couple days, always thanking me for the latest pictures. Now Jack's (now Otis) parents, that's a different story.  I send them a picture every day, along with a short note from Otis about his day.  They have emailed every day, they have spent at least 8 hours in PetsMart, bought crates, toys, food, they have him signed up for puppy classes, and have his first vet appointment scheduled.  They came to visit him, they brought him a new collar, one of his crates, complete with blankets they have slept with so he can have their scent, so he can get used to it.  They have both taken a week's vacation so they can spend his whole first week in his new home with them.  They also told me they have it arranged up to November 24th where one of them will always be there with him.  They left with a gallon of my water so they could slowly introduce their water to him.  It's hard to feel bad about them leaving, when they are going to such wonderful families.

In less than a week they will both be gone, it sure will be quiet around here at least for a couple weeks until the five unnamed puppies downstairs start coming into their own.  Will I be sad?  A little, but not for them, for me, I will miss them! Will I shed a tear? Probably, I'm emotional like that. What do I feel? Content and grateful, I learned so much through this journey, I gave my best, and I got back so much more. I now have hope, I truly believe this experience has saved me from a really bleak future and once again gave me purpose, I guess this time Paws & Prayers saved more than just our four legged friends. Thank you to this wonderful group for all your help and support, you've made me feel like part of the group!

Jack Daniels at 7 weeks

Margarita at 7 weeks

There was a delay between Donna penning this touching account of her first foster experience and our publishing it here for you to enjoy!  Magarita and Jack Daniels are well settled into their new furever homes and Donna is now keeping herself busy with Snow White and her litter of pups!


Jack Daniels, now Otis, with his
new furever family!
Donna was recently featured on the front page of our local newspaper, the Akron Beacon Journal.  Click here to read the inspiring feature.

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Content By:  Donna Schulman

Donna Schulman is a foster for dogs and puppies along with her husband Richard.  Donna is a full time care taker for her mother and Richard is an automotive painter.  They have a 7-year-old rescued Pomeranian named Pepper and three rescued cats Figaro, Charlie and Boots.

Images:  Provided by Donna Schulman

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